Tag Archives: jerk

I’ll report you to the police – Funny & Irritating letter

Note: This conversation happened after I posted an irritating post in B-bay. See the ad. below.

“Old, rusted, punctured Hercules-cycle for sale. Please do not ride in Gelephu coz  that’s where I stole it from. To make it a fair deal, I’d like to give away a bag of karma feed and one XXX-L army pant. Contact 17362200

Dorji: I’ll report to police..

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Thanks for the interest. Actually I value the cycle for 1200, but u seem to be a good guy so I’ll give you for 800. And also I’d like to add a pair of used woolen socks. Please wash the socks before use, as it stinks real bad and also my dog pissed on it. When are you coming to get it? Although I have another willing buyer who just messaged  me right now, but I will have to make you both fight and the winner gets to buy my bi-cycle.

Dorji: m not interested to buy ur scrap asshole…rather want to inform police for ur theft..

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: I know Nu.800 for a scrape bi-cycle was way too much. Despite that, I do appreciate your interest. Tell you what, I’ll bump the price down to 650 but I get to keep the front wheel and pedal chain. However I’d like to give away home made mosquito repellent for free, just so that you don’t feel like you are losing on the deal. The repellent is good to kill mosquitoes however side-effect includes nausea, vomiting, partial blindness, permanent blindness, skin infection, and in some cases even death; use with caution. Did you know that if you report your vehicle stolen or lost the insurance company will buy you a new one? I am burning my car to claim a new one.

Dorji: man u r unfit here,, i worry what mentality u have

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar‎: I m touched by your worry 4 my health, happiness and social acceptance. You caught me out dorji. Your super sleuth detective skills have once again outwitted me. I do agree to your professional diagnosis and admit that I am  indeed mentally unsound. Back in my village I was called cruel names like psycho and Ghantawkey not only because of my mentality but also the big size of me head. Kids would even throw stones at me. I used to sell milk in the same bi-cycle (it belonged to my uncle then), although my lucrative business was later banned after people found out that I was selling them goat milk. That’s when I stole the cycle and ran away. The village mob later mistook my grandmother for a witch and almost burnt her alive. No more discount please, I really need the money coz I am destitute of food and alcohol for about a week now. I am surviving on a diet of dead mice and lizards. 😦

Dorji: dnt pollute man… be-aware

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: ‎ I do respect your pollution free philosophy. And to be frank I am also totally against pollution. But to both of our delight, my cycle does not run on gas or petrol so the question of pollution is out of the bound. However, while riding uphill I did fart; which I admit, might have added to the pollution.

Attached is the picture of possible pollution with the fart.

Dorji: What the heck??? Dont reply me.. Admin plez delete this post and block this mad guy..

Note: Lucky for me, I copied the whole conversation before it was deleted. 😛