Category Archives: funny

Proof I’ll never get a girlfriend -Irritating letter

Note: This conversation happened after I commented on her Facebook picture saying “Is your face painted?” It was actually some photo effects.

Anisha Giri: Ok listen here… I don’t know you very much to begin with. And you are asking if I painted my face. Let me take that as an inquisitive comment rather than something sarcastic. I’m deleting your comment. And please don’t write such things again. Thank you.

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Your face looked like it was painted. If you don’t want people to see it and comment, just make your pictures private. And I don’t care if you deleted that comment or not, nobody cares.

Anisha Giri: even if it did.. its non of ur business .. actually was being polite to u… but i din realis that u r such a ashole.. its upto me whether i follow the privacy term or not.. but thnk u for letting me know… i shall be careful next time.

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar:  Yes I am an assholes. Internet is full of assholes, why do you expect me to comment ‘oh you look beautiful’ when you look like you just played Indian festival of color -Holy.

Anisha Giri: and also din realize there r ppl in fb ..my fren list..wer ppl are desperate to comment on sb pic.. also in such a barbaric manner… hmm. haha u write like woman. man..i am nt gud with message quarell.. i rather stop it here

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Yea, I was so desperate to comment on your picture. What do you think you are? Some king of celebrity or something off Rotten tomato’s ‘top worst celebrity of the year’ list?

Anisha Giri: perhaps i am.. just chill dude
i dont really want this ok?
ok whatever
i look painted.. fine.. agreed
Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: What’s happening with girls these days? PMS?

Anisha Giri: well.. now u want me to answer that?

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Why do you expect only positive comment that are comprised of lies? Why are there no room for true opinion? Just this morning I had to slap my girlfriend real hard, because she didn’t like when I told her that she looked like a pig.

Anisha Giri: oh don’t mistake me… i do have a room for criticism but that i take from ppl i know..whether they are worth for it or not… and u my dear friend.. i kno nth abt u except for ur name… fb name
hmm..so much for a gentleman

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: You know what? Why don’t we fight dual and solve this forever? You want justice, I want truth. Let’s have a combat and solve this.

Anisha Giri: no no.. no justice needed…thnks…gtg

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: No, Lets meet at Centenary Park, 5 PM, tomorrow for a fight. Are we allowed to carry weapons? I am sure I will win.

Anisha Giri: i am sure u will. What weapon? Are you serious?

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Yea sure, like a man.

Anisha Giri: of course.. are u insecure of ur masculinity? Now that u r arguing with a woman.. also inside a chat box

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: You are a women? I thought you were a man. You look like a man

Anisha Giri: i will take that as a compliment
u know wat im just too bored to argue… like fucking high school teen..stop it.
i look like a man.. holi face… watever the fuck
i dont fucking care.

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: You know what? World is full of thorns. You can either try to create a huge carpet to cover all the Thorne or u can just wear a shoe.

Anisha Giri: ok mr. philosopher…i will keep that in mind

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Don’t you call me philosopher, women. Don’t you dare. I hate those old retards with wits of a donkey.

Anisha Giri: so much for a comment..

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Yea you started. M depressed now, how can u be so rude? Why is everyone hurting me? I feel like committing suicide. My girlfriend broke up with me just for slapping her, now u with all your foul languages and irreverent commentary like I didn’t have enough rough day. I have never seen a person ruder than you.

Anisha Giri: really? u know im sorry bout ur gf.. im sure things will be ok… i wasnt rude.. i was asking u nt to do sth..in a polite way.. u wanted to argue. Anyway, just flush it

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: A dog also chased me n bit me on my thigh. Just before that I slipped on cow dung and hit my nose on the ground. And now you are challenging me for a dual, calling me asshole, and using all those profane languages. Who taught you those?

Anisha Giri: u know wat i thin u r decent guy.. so i take back calling u shit, using words
but please dont strt another arguement here, really not in a mood.

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: It hurts me. I never use those words to others. I don’t like someone using that on me

Anisha Giri: u said horrible things to me

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: Truth is horrible. I was on mobile screen, and it looks like u painted your face. That’s why I asked you in the first place.

Anisha Giri: its cool, i told u i would take that comment as an inquisitive question n not sarcasm.

Binu Creativedonkey Kumar: It’s not cool, I want to fight dual, and you called me asshole. Do you know that an ass-hole refers to a rectum of an anus?

Anisha Giri: but i have to delet it. ok please suit ursel
suit urself… u know no point of arguement here
ok.. glad to know, really don have time for this…

Funny memoirs of an angry traveler

It wasn’t a wonderful morning; I was awakened by an irritating sound of pesky crows. My journey began from Phuentsholing. The weather was great except for the heavy rain and hailstone. I sense a bad luck today as I had a really bad dream where I was being chased by a giant black buffalo with a rifle and chainsaw. Grandma explained me over phone that such dream was a clear sign of misfortune and it would require me to immediately sacrifice a goat and burn a witch to detour the omen.  The day before wasn’t great either; as I was showering I stepped on the soap, slipped, fell facedown and hit my mouth on the floor knocking out all the front teeth and fracturing my jaw bone. While I was slowly getting up, I again stepped on the soap and fell inside the hot water with the live current still on. I had to run around the town without shirt, in my boxer short with bleeding mouth and unwashed shampoo searching for a medical store.

I reached the taxi parking. Twelve people were accommodated in a six-seater vehicle. Luckily I was on the window side. I would rather prefer being punched in my balls than imagine myself traveling a day long journey in a taxi full of strange people and playing same bengali song in loop for the entire journey. Next to me was a young Bihari girl, and after her was a big headed, short, fat and a dark guy, I forgot what other nine looked like except for one who stopped the car every fifteen minute or so due to  diarrhea. He looked identical to the guy from the movie ‘God must be crazy.’ I hated that movie anyways.

“Oh, excuse me! Could you please stop squeezing me, miss not so pretty?”  (“NO, YOU CANT CALL SOME ONE UGLY.”) “Yes I can.” The big headed guy reminded me of a boy named Tashi in my primary school whom the kids hated because of his huge head and big nose. Everyone would shout “there goes the big head” when he walked by and we would throw rocks and sticks at him. Tashi was later expelled from school when he was caught red-handed trying to hump a goat. Although Tashi had his own shares of bad as we all do, Tashi was a great swimmer and a talented grocery thief. The voice of the guy behind me is really irritating one, isn’t it? It’s almost two hours now but he’s not finished shouting over phone to his girlfriend for kissing with a guy named Pravesh; shouting at her for her reluctance to say sorry.

An elderly man in front of me, trying to convince his co-passenger about why he should vote for his party while admitting his hatred for the current ruling party for their fake promises  to build an airport in his village.

I am frustrated, I just realized an hour ago when I opened my phone to listen to music, that I left my battery in my hotel room docked in an external charger back at Phuentsholing. But the real reason for my frustration is more because of the Bihari girl vomiting on my lap for the second time.

Going through the roughest, most flooded and eroded road, I managed to glance at the sign that read ‘BRO BUILDS THE BEST ROAD IN THE AREA.’ “So this is what you call best, Mr. BRO? Or did someone misspell worst for best? Sometimes a little typo could really shatter our expectation, Mr. BRO.” The guy behind me still isn’t done shouting to his girlfriend. Now he is describing the memories he had with her; some bitter and some fond, stating how he remembers everything about her including the names of her seven cats.

Thank God, I have finally reached Sikkim although I landed in a wrong place thirty kilometers away from my destination in the opposite direction. Traveling with a co-passenger devoid of manners and respect for others is worse than sharing a sleeping bag with a grizzly bear.

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